


I Can't Be Honest

by comeonlight



Category: Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Alcohol, Brief Mentions of Cloud, F/F, Jessie Is A Mess, Kinda Sorta One-Sided Kinda Sorta One Night Stand, Mild to Moderate Brooding, Moderately Chicken Tendie, Non-Penetrative Sex, Plot(?) With Porn, Self-Loathing, Smooching, This was supposed to be PWP, unless?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:02:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27695980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comeonlight/pseuds/comeonlight
Summary: From the recycle bin of fics that almost didn't get posted comes: the one where a third Cosmo Canyon loosens Jessie's tongue just enough to land her at Tifa's place spilling all her baggage mid-makeout.
Relationships: Jessie Rasberry/Tifa Lockhart, Jessie/Tifa Lockhart
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	I Can't Be Honest

Jessie trusts Tifa. Doesn't everyone? That girl is as honest as they come. The sentiment that she isn’t fully dependable on a mission comes not from a place of malice or a lack of confidence in her ability, but from a simple observation: Tifa Lockhart is kind. Kind enough to have half the Sector 7 slums head over heels and far too kind to carry out bombings without hesitancy.

The bitter taste of Cosmo Canyon lingers on Jessie’s tongue as the drink keeps her throat warm. Only a few sips remain in her glass, held tight in her hand. Sitting at the bar like this with a somber expression—an onlooker would think she’d just gone through a rough breakup. If only she had the time to distract herself with a real relationship instead of flings and flirtation. But Avalanche territory comes with way too many secrets to even think about something serious with a regular old civilian. That’s fine. Jessie knows deep down that she’s too much of a wreck for love, anyway. Yet she remains infatuated with the idea of it, like an idiot.

“Jessie…Are you okay?” Tifa asks as she opens the register to count the day’s profits. That means it’s closing time already; the hours really fly by when mulling over things that don’t need to be mulled over.

“Who, me?” Jessie asks, putting on her typical grin. What had she been thinking, letting her chipper attitude slip away for even a second? Someone has to keep up morale. Even if it’s a charade more often than not, it’s useful if it keeps others’ spirits from falling low. “I’m fine. And I’ll be out of your hair soon!”

Tifa glances up from the money to get a view of Jessie’s face, as if it will tell a different story. There’s no point in it. If Jessie is good with bombs, then she’s godlike with lies. Facial expressions, vocal tone, body language, memorized lines at the ready—it’s just like acting. Swift as always, Tifa writes numbers on a sheet of paper and locks up the register. She sighs, but it’s not one of those relieved sighs. It’s one of those “something’s bothering Tifa” sighs. Of course, as a trusted friend and comrade, Jessie can’t very well let that go. “Are  _ you  _ okay, Tifa?”

“I’m...fine,” Tifa replies. It’s hard to believe. Hard to believe she could lie so poorly. It’s kind of adorable, Jessie thinks. After only a second or two, the truth spills out. “Okay, not exactly fine. I’m just a bit worried about you, that’s all. You just seem really… I don’t know. It feels like...like…”

“Uh-huuuh?” Jessie asks before taking a long sip to finish her drink.

Tifa rests her arms on the bar and leans forward. “Are you  _ sure  _ you’re okay? I never know what you’re thinking.”

Jessie’s smirk shrinks a little. Bad at lying doesn’t necessarily mean not perceptive. “Hah. I’d like to know myself.” She slides her glass of ice aside and tilts her head. “What  _ am  _ I thinking? Right now, I’m thinking you have pretty eyes, aaand that this Cloud guy you told us about is one lucky son of a gun.”

“What do you mean by that?” Tifa presses with a clearly confused scowl.

Jessie laughs and lowers her head. “Tifa, it’s obvious you’re totally into this dude. Or at the very least you think highly of him. Must be nice.”

“Jessie?”

“Weird, right? I put up a mask 24/7 and have the audacity to want someone to love me. Wait, am I talking too much?”

Tifa takes Jessie’s glass and turns around to face the sink. “No. Not at all. If I’d known all it took was three Cosmo Canyons…”

“She  _ does  _ have jokes!” Jessie exclaims, feigning shock. “Heh. Well, I’d go on but I believe I’ve embarrassed myself enough and I highly doubt you want to have a spontaneous ladies’ night to bang it out and comfort my disaster ass.”

Tifa stares into the glass as she washes it, biting her lip as she carefully picks her words. Suddenly, the bar seems painfully quiet. Has it always been like this after hours? “You’re right, it is spontaneous. But, uh, how do I say this? I mean, I don’t think I’d exactly be opposed.”

“Cut the crap,” Jessie says coldly, willingly letting her facade drop. “I might be scum but I’m not about to take advantage of your kindness like that.” Back to smiling. “G’night!”

Tifa sets the glass aside and turns back toward the bar. “Jessie, hold on. You’re not ‘scum’ or—”

“Da-da-da-daaa, bum bum bum-ba-daaa, can’t hear ya.” Jessie stands up and starts to walk toward the door, waving goodbye with a half-assed grin.

“Did you ever stop to think that maybe I’m lonely too?”

Typical Tifa. She can easily dig right to Jessie’s heart, even when she doesn’t have a clue how. Jessie’s smile becomes something pathetic, between longing and bitter. Utterly ridiculous. “And what? You think I can help?”

“Actually,” Tifa says, slowly stepping out from behind the bar. “I do.” She walks toward Jessie, letting her eyes fall to the other woman’s hand just before she grasps it tightly—tight enough to keep Jessie from pulling away if she were to try. “You’ve been looking out for me in your own way, and I’m grateful for that. But I’m not naïve.”

Jessie relents with a sigh. “I take it that’s an invitation, then.” A meek, genuine smile plays on her lips for a fleeting moment as she stares into Tifa’s eyes. That deep red had always been stunning; it caught Jessie’s attention the first time they’d met, and unlike many aspects of life, that hasn’t changed since.

Tifa returns the smile, and leads Jessie by the hand out of Seventh Heaven. “Come on. My place has privacy.” That it does. Jessie recalls the room at Stargazer Heights as they make the short walk through the night’s familiar noise and smog. It’s a cute little place, no more inherently dingy than the rest of the Sector 7 slums and graced by Tifa’s personal touch. Jessie had been there several times to deliver information or items, but never to hang out. Certainly never for relief from her own smorgasbord of issues. In all honesty, the situation feels like a weird dream. But considering they’ve gotten this far and no one has suddenly died yet, she’ll keep the hope that this is reality.

On the second floor of Stargazer Heights, Tifa unlocks the door to her room. She pushes it open and turns on the light, then invites Jessie in with a simple, “We’re here.”

Jessie steps inside and begins to remove her boots as Tifa closes the door. “Yep. We’re here alright.”

Silence soon befalls the two, weighty with hesitation and muddled feelings. All but helpless, Jessie lets her eyes wander the room while clenching her fist as if it will stop the sensation of Tifa’s palm against hers from fading.

“You sure you don’t wanna save it for Cloud?” Jessie manages with the little bit of sass that she can muster. Before she can come up with a quip to respond to Tifa’s resulting blush, she finds her shoulders seized in a tight grip. Tifa pulls her close, glaring directly into her eyes. Oh? But of course. The rubylike shine of Tifa’s irises is even more pronounced in this lamplight. Jessie stares back, hypnotized. “Sorry. That was out of line. I guess I kind of forgot how to be honest.”

Tifa leans in, pressing her forehead to Jessie’s. Her eyes soften, falling half-shut as she exhales quietly. “Let’s try. Both of us, together. Just for tonight.”

“I think I’d like that,” comes Jessie’s murmured reply as she forfeits her attempt to contain herself and closes the miniscule distance between Tifa’s lips and her own. Kissing is a familiar experience for her; it’s something fun and exciting to do with tipsy friends or cute one-date wonders. But compared to all those, kissing Tifa is...different. Tifa kisses the way she conducts herself day to day—warmly, with attentiveness and patience. The gentle gliding of their lips is enough to warm Jessie from skin to marrow. Only seconds in and she can hardly breathe.

Tifa breaks their kiss, stammering a question. “Did I, I mean is that… Am I doing this right?”

Jessie nods like an idiot, touching her own bottom lip as if in disbelief. “Uh-huh. Yeah. Yes. Um. Bed. I mean! I’m just really uh, wow. Heh.”

“It’s okay,” Tifa assures her, lowering a hand to Jessie’s breastplate. “We’re being honest, after all. I’m starting to get excited, too, so let’s get this out of the way.” She speaks so sensically, it doesn’t seem like her cheeks wouldn’t be the slightest bit pink. They sure are, though, and Jessie can only imagine how beet red her own face is. Jessie continues to nod, again like a complete buffoon, as she starts to fumble with her armor. To her advantage, she knows how to throw on this getup and take it off like the back of her hand; else, she’d just be standing there slack-jawed as Tifa unfastens her suspenders and belt. Tossing each piece of armor and clothing into a pile as she strips down (and shamelessly gawks at Tifa doing the same), Jessie can’t help but let loose a laugh. “I can’t believe it.”

“Believe what?” Tifa asks as she slips out of her underwear.

Jessie turns her head toward Tifa’s bed. “I spent the evening sulking at the bar and now we’re both naked in your apartment. We kissed just a minute ago. It’s like it’s too good to be true. Like any second, some shit from my nightmares is gonna bust through that door and kill us both.”

“Nightmares?”

“It’s nothing to worry about.”

_ “Jessie.” _

Jessie bites her lip at the scolding tone. Even Biggs and Wedge know fuck all about the contents of her nightmares, only that she has them sometimes. “If I trust you with this, can we kiss more while I tell you?” If Jessie’s the one to make herself feel embarrassed, then it all turns into a joke, right? No, that’s not right…

Tifa takes Jessie by the hand again, her soft tug guiding Jessie to bed. “You don’t need to bargain for kisses.” She lies on her side, letting Jessie squeeze in beside her on top of the sheets. And there they are again, close enough to gaze into each other’s souls and try to reach some higher understanding like amateur wizards or whatever. “Besides, right now you’re really the only one I trust with this.”

Jessie’s sarcastic thoughts halt. “You trust me?”

Tifa reaches up to Jessie’s face and pushes away a lock of hair. Her fingers linger, running along the red bandana. “I do trust you. So, let me get to know you. Please?” She pinches the red cloth between her thumb and finger.

Jessie pushes her lips against Tifa’s with a sharp breath in. She makes it quick, more to maintain control of herself than anything else. But that quick kiss is still so warm, so fundamentally different than kisses with anyone else that it’s confounding. “Okay. I’ll do my best. The first thing to say would be...well, it could be the Cosmo Canyon talking, but I think I might be just the teeniest, tiniest bit in love with you.”

Tifa pulls at Jessie’s bandana, untying the simple knot and removing it from her hair with one motion. She initiates a second kiss, fleeting but tender. “Thank you.”

Jessie can feel her own heartbeat pounding in her throat. Controlling herself is nearly a fantasy now. She captures Tifa’s lips again, drawing this kiss out with a flick of her tongue and an unchecked hum. “I call it Karma. No voice, no face, it just chases me.” Their gazes meet for a heartbeat before another kiss, now with Tifa mimicking Jessie’s tongue advance. This one lasts a little longer, with some experimentation on Tifa’s part. She nibbles Jessie’s lower lip as they part, nearly wrecking the latter’s train of thought. “And it… Well it’s pretty obvious Karma’s my guilt. I mean, I left my mom to go to the slums after my dad...died.” Best not to hang on to hope. “Effectively, anyway. I act like I’m God’s gift to the world when I’m an emotional leech. I’m sure someone’s died because of a bomb I made. And—” Tifa kisses her again, showing her inexperience with a sloppy push from her tongue. Jessie welcomes it all the same, and prods her knee between Tifa’s legs. The gesture causes Tifa to give a faint gasp, and Jessie breaks their kiss to wrap up her sob story. “So basically, I kind of hate myself, but part of me wants to feel loved. And here we are.”

Tifa carefully runs her fingers through Jessie’s hair. “I don’t know if I can ever change the way you feel, but…” The next kiss is planted on Jessie’s forehead. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re a good person. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t love the way you do. And all that guilt? It’s proof you have a good heart.”

“Maybe,” Jessie sighs. “If only this good heart of mine were so easy to convince.” She lifts her thigh higher between Tifa’s legs, eliciting a small jump. “...Yeah. I’m totally, maybe sort of in love with you. Tomorrow, I’ll blame it on Cosmo.” She kisses Tifa’s lips, short and sweet; then her chin, her neck, her shoulder. Tifa welcomes the affection, tilting her head back to grant more access to her throat. Jessie happily peppers the exposed skin with the adoration of her lips and tongue as she presses her chest against Tifa’s. The resulting quiet sound in Tifa’s throat comes across as a clear vibration against Jessie’s lips. “Hey, does it feel good?”

Tifa replies with a shaky, “Mm-hm.” She rolls her hips against Jessie’s thigh and asks a question of her own. “And you, how can I—Should we change positions?”

Jessie leaves a last kiss on Tifa’s jaw before answering. “Don’t you worry about me.” She traces Tifa’s body with an open hand, from her collarbone down over her breast and stomach, to her hip. “Words can’t even begin to describe how good you’ve made me feel already.” Her hand slides around Tifa’s hip and up her back, intermittently stopping to comb through her hair.

Tifa lowers her chin to have a proper look at Jessie. The fire that frequently appears in her brown eyes is accompanied by a peaceful, tender sparkle that Tifa has never seen. “Jessie.” Without even thinking, Tifa leans in for another kiss. “I’m glad to know you.” Their lips meet with fervor, voiced breaths aplenty as they glide over one another, tongues and teeth mingling and receding just to do it all over again. It’s mindless and messy, and Tifa can’t bring herself to stop. Her mouth won’t stop, even as indecent whimpers slip out. Her hips won’t stop. The sensation of Jessie’s thigh against so many nerves is nearly maddening. It never felt like this alone, not even once. She was never this sensitive, never so suddenly wrapped up in something. Her body won’t stop  _ burning  _ from all the pleasure and excitement and embarrassment and joy coiled in the pit of her stomach.

“Just like that,” Jessie encourages. She kisses Tifa’s cheek, then her lips again. “You’re doing...so good.” Despite the throb between her hips growing to a near ache, Jessie sees no need to tend to it yet. Not with Tifa moaning against her lips and gradually inching toward orgasm. Somehow, even in her descent into pleasure’s embrace, Tifa manages to give Jessie a smile that conveys simple, pure joy. The sight is supernatural. “Seriously. So good.”

Tifa’s fingers emerge from Jessie’s hair and find her waist, then sink down to her hip. “Tifa?” Jessie breathes. A loud whimper replaces whatever words may have followed as Tifa dips her hand between Jessie’s thighs. A cautious finger strokes her slit, followed by two and then three, rubbing gently against her. Jessie can only bite back growls and the instinct to beg on her knees for Tifa to pin her to the mattress and finger her. Tifa herself can hardly keep it together, her muscles tightening and her head turning into the pillow.

Jessie lays a kiss on Tifa’s shoulder. “You’re driving me crazy.” As if to respond, Tifa curls her middle finger and rubs Jessie’s clit directly. “...Tifa. You’re gonna make me—” Again. “Oh God.” One more time, and Jessie loses her ability to speak coherently. She groans against Tifa’s neck, basking in her presence, her warmth, the welling pleasure so close to its peak.

Tifa’s hand momentarily locks up, along with the rest of her body. Then she shivers, her hips ceasing the pursuit of friction. She gives an audible sigh, half-muffled by the pillow, and resumes rubbing Jessie’s clit even as her legs twitch with residual ecstasy. Jessie can’t decide whether to laugh or cry, so she does neither. Instead she succumbs to Tifa, and the sensitivity that only Tifa can bring out. For a moment, she succumbs to her truth.

In her descent from the clouds, Jessie sits up, her body hot yet covered with goosebumps, and smiles. “When you’re good to go, let me know. You totally did all the work.”

“For real?” Tifa asks. She rolls onto her back. “Half of that was kissing. You’re so better at kissing than me.”

“I’m not so sure about that one,” Jessie remarks. “But I do know one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m for sure, probably, slightly in love with you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Not my best, but you know what? I had fun finagling with work skins and throwing pink in there. So yay me.


End file.
